Sunday, 17 November 2013

Season of mists and mellow fruitiness

I absolutely adore this time of year: the spectacle of falling, golden leaves; icicles forming pretty patterns; the bleak cry of the raven;  the promise of darkness at 4pm and with it, the chance to partake in the curious English past-times of dogging, cruising and cottaging before going home to tea. 

It is titillating to throw off my mink coat and, without a care in the world, to skip through the deep carpets of autumn leaves wearing only Italian black silk lingerie, stay-up sheer nylon stockings and 12-inch black sluts' heels.   I stop to pick wild berries and collect mushrooms in a basket. 

Imagine my horror when I arrived at my favourite layby/woodland only to find this sign had been put up by the local constabulary.

What kill-joys!  How dare they spoil our fun.

 I rushed home and immediately pressed a few buttons on that Photoshop thing-a-majiggy and produced this wonderful poster.

Keep Calm and Cruise For Sex! by Fanny Love

Fanny vehemently supports with all her heart the practice of cruising, dogging and cottaging. Share the love!  Feel free to print off this poster and place it in a prominent position at your favourite local public toilet / park / woodland / layby. 

Meanwhile, sit back with your warm cup of cocoa and enjoy these photos of others out cruising, cottaging and dogging:

Dogging, cruising and cottaging:
a delightful, wholesome British past-time, celebrated and practiced by generations of Britons.


  1. Cruising is such a joy isn't it? I was once taken roughly from behind by a long distance lorry driver called Mick, whilst he having me against a tree trunk, I saw a mother badger out with her babies.

    1. Please let Mick the long-distance lorry driver know that whenever he's passing Buckinghamshire he's more than welcome to call by. Do ask him to use the tradesmens' entrance!

  2. TvCottageSlutTanya25 November 2013 at 02:25

    Fanny Love: Are you totaltoplad from Basingstoke in disguise?

  3. Isabel de Cockforte25 November 2013 at 10:09

    Cottaging is such a joy as I approach my 60s, I love nothing more than slipping down into those subterranean, dank, Victorian toilets and turning tricks between the cubicles. It really is a delight! Thank you for your article and I shall be sure to print off your poster and place it at all the famous cruising and cottaging spots. Isabel x

    1. Please do and good luck to you and to all who sail in her.

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