Fanny Love, wearing a black wig and Maximillion-style wedding dress with ruched trim, visiting her Estate Agent, with a loaded antique Wallonian hunting rifle
All text in bold grey are clickable links; just click to be taken to the smut!
Dear Reader. I hope your year has been good. 2013 is just around the corner. I hope it's a wonderful year for you and all your dreams come true. My 2012 was a truly tumultuous year, with many challenges, much laughter but also much sadness. But it was a year ending in chaotic resolve. I relocated from Wiltshire to Buckinghamshire, and finally saw my dream come true in the conception and filming of my life-time work of art, The Hampstead Heath Chainsaw Massacre. I'd like to thank the wonderful Mitzi and the wonderful Miss MJ for a lot of funny moments, as well as my good friend, Truelove and my charming and hunky butler/chauffeur/toyboy, Juan for keeping me warm, Brazilian-style, during the seemingly-endless wet British summer.
During this year, I also came across many lovely young men, who, in tribute to their charms, I am documenting in this last breathe of 2012.
So.... here's a quick recap of 2012 in the life of Fanny Love:
In February, I accidentally on purpose managed to insult local dignitaries by reading poetry about S&M whilst wearing a provocative outfit.
In March, I was stalked by a furniture collector. During that same fair month, I was also put on anti-depressants after a disastrous trip to Port Talbot.
Wales seemed not to be able to let me out of its grip, for I was back there again, invited to give an operatic performance and shortly after the disaster of all disasters happened, which is best not spoken about in polite circles but involves the burning-down of a caravan.
At my Spring Fête, I wore a rabbit-head dress, that was celebrated in all the fashion magazines.
Mr and Mr March
April saw me losing my flower-girl innocence on a "cottaging" trip to Dorset with Gloria Girdle.
June saw me jumping into a Wiltshire river and re-enacting Ophelia as a statement on the beauty of death. July saw me engaged in a running battle with villagers who objected to the topiary in my garden. Later that same month, I witnessed the extraordinary Welsh fetish of bog-snorkelling.
August was the month that I moved to Raffles, a remote country estate in northwest Buckinghamshire. My patience wore thin and Cook was first taken away to a psychiatric unit, after her culinary perversions concluding in the Exploding Pudding incident.
Film crews descended on London's Hampstead Heath for the filming of my multi-million pound Victorian Gothic lesbian thriller, the Hampstead Heath Chainsaw Massacre.
I holidayed in the beautiful Scottish islands, before going on a wild shoplifting spree in Glasgow at the start of September.
October was the month my Press Secretary went to a star-studded event, pretending to be me, completely drunk after vodka was poured into her water-cooler. She was dressed as a Dalek.
November was a quiet month, spent mostly baking gingerbread cookies and visiting New York City, Helsinki, Prague, Brussels, Paris, Barcelona and Lisbon (my favourite!).
December saw some of my staff thrown from a third floor window after a meteoric fall from grace, plus an advent calendar containing chocolate-coated Sprouts. Later that month, I turned my hand to bee-keeping. And one of my most iconic TV performances of the decade was Cook Along With Fanny. Just a shame about the ending. It taught me a lesson, and that lesson is that the combination of triple-strength gin and tonics, Valium, 12-inch stilettos, and cooking oil spilt onto marble floors, just doesn't mix well!
So it's time to look to 2013. In the New Year, in addition to the continuance of this blog, I'll be launching a brand new blog called Travelling Transvestite - Around the World in 180 Days. You'll be able to read about my adventures as I travel on vacation from England to Europe to Latin America to Australasia, Asia, and Africa, a vacation of epic proportions spread over 180 days.
Thanks for reading my blog this year and myself and Juan would like to wish you a Happy and Prosperous 2013.