After a 2 month wait, the post-lady delivered a package yesterday bearing the postmark Singapore; externally, it looked like it had been savaged by wild dogs (such are the failings of the Royal Mail postal service). Inside, I found a pair of pink leather trousers, in perfect condition, specially made by a designer friend.
These are a gift for my favourite member of staff, my chauffeur, also my fuck-slut, Juan. I have, in the past, eaten caviar from his well-defined ribs. He is Brazilian, speaks very little English, and very loyal. I have asked him to wear the pink leather trousers and a white tuxedo when he drives me around the country.