They tried to whisk me through the VIP entrance, but there was chaos at Johannesburg International Airport.
Once in the VIP lounge, I was frozen in horror. Just a short distance away, I saw a gargantuan woman, waving around a Belgian passport, allowing her enormous frame to sit dangerously upon a metal, fold-up chair. Her red, sluttish, brightly-lipsticked mouth opened to gobble down Belgian chocolate eclairs, the packet showing 100% full fat; a pudgy hand popped another eclair in and she looked like she was going to explode.
This woman was the size of a small house. She looked like she was on her fifth packet. She seemed dangerously close to crushing to pieces the metal fold-up chair she was sitting on. I do not know if the floor gave way, or if anyone was killed in the incident, as I turn and fled. Fortunately, my flight to London was only 30 minutes from departure. It was an upsetting experience to an otherwise wonderful holiday. I do not know how this imposter got into the VIP lounge. People from Belgium should not be allowed in at all, never mind people of this girth. This sort of incident is the very reason I always fly first class!