Fanny recently had the pleasure of moving to her summer house, a rather large, detached period property deep in the Buckinghamshire countryside, yet only 30 miles from London.
However, one of my serving staff, a scullery maid, was thrown from an upstairs window after playing a very dirty trick on me involving a bottle of extra virgin olive oil.
Yes, that's right, dear Reader, the malicious and contemptible act of placing a large bottle of oil on the very top shelf of a cupboard, high up, with the top missing. A sprung trap.
It struck me on the head and covered my hair and face with its sticky contents. I've had to employ a coiffeurist who has stream-cleaned my hair over 300 times to remove the oil, and the dress I was wearing - antique Victorian lace - was completely ruined.