Monday, 13 August 2012

The Hampstead Heath Chainsaw Massacre

Filming of my new movie, The Hampstead Heath Chainsaw Massacre, is now over.  The film is released in cinemas on Wednesday 31 October - Halloween 2012.  

Here are the promotional posters that are going up all over the country:

And another poster, just back from the designer - a more grungy feel:

A bespoke chainsaw made from 18-carat gold was made especially for the film, with my name engraved on its blade.  It weighed a lot.  I had to do a lot of shots wielding the buzzing chainsaw above my head and bringing it down.  Consequently, I now have much larger biceps than I did before.

The filming took 12 weeks and was shot at this quiet spot in the depths of Hampstead Heath, a large, wooded heathland in North London:

In case, you hadn't guessed, the film is a graphic horror.

The soundtrack is by an experimental Austrian composer and is truly bloodcurdling.  The movie has a budget of over £200 million.


  1. The council will never let a weirdo like you cut down the most famous tree in north London. I have set a up a petition for you to be given an ASBO. You will be arrested if you step foot within 1 mile of Hampstead.

    Lady V

  2. Was it during filming that the Naked German got cum all over your clothing? Those damn Germans, no manners.

  3. Is that the infamous Hampstead Fuck Tree?