Thursday 12 June 2014

Middle finger to Russia


Juan got all excited in the trouser department this morning when Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst appeared on TV singing Rise Like a Phoenix (no! that's not a mayonnaise stain on the collar of my dress).   I adore Conchita: not only is she beautiful, but she can sing, she has an amazing wardrobe and she's proudly trans.  Imagine my boiling disgust to learn that Russia, a little-known country east of the Balkans, made disgusting and shameful comments about Conchita: "there is no limit to our outrage, this is the end of Europe.  There are no men or women in Europe, just it".   It?   Referring to a goddess like Conchita as it?  Boo hiss boo!


So, without further a-do, let's take a quick look at Russia's offering in the Eurovision Song Contest.  The ballad "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" was performed by sultry lounge singer, Mikel Gorbachev,  who twerked his way onto stage wearing a sickle-print cocktail dress.  Isn't he sexy?  I love that beetroot stain on his forehead. 


Tripe dressed as mutton

Sadly, revenge is a salad best served with arsenic, for the musical ears of Europe awarded Russia's Eurovision entry nil point (that's zero to those who don't speak Welsh).  Poor Russia!   I once considered a holiday in Russia, to their version of the Costa del Sol, known as Norilsk, in Siberia.  Here are some photos, to tempt you.



Sadly, the Russian Embassy refused my visa.  Moved to tears by the missed opportunity to visit Norilsk's stunning coastline, I stood outside the Russian Embassy in Central London singing at the top of my voice Sweet Transvestite by the Rocky Horror Picture Show.




You may remember that my ex-maid, Belladonna, comes from Russia.  Another reason the place should be bombed to smithereens.   Anyway, let's forget about silly little places like Russia and just enjoy the extraordinary talent that is Conchita Wurst:-



6 comments:

  1. Ack... this is why they annexed the Crimea... they wanted a decent holiday destination.
    Sx

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    1. I think you're right. Crimea does actually look beautiful. I would love to go there. Fanny x

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  2. I missed the Eurovision song contest nonsense. I didn't like the UKs entry. Conchita was the worthy winner, I would have voted for her, she reminds me of the late Kenny Everett. I visited Moscow over 15 years ago, went to the ballet there to see Jizzelle the one where the skeleton pops up, anyway at the end of the performance the audience did a very slow and ominous clap and their faces were hard like flint. *shudders*

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    1. I agree, the UK's Eurovision entry was awful, I've heard dockyard fishwives who could sing better than her, and wasn't she a humourless person? The Danish presenter offered her her favourite cake and she just pouted indignantly. If I'd been Danish presenter, I would have thrust the cake in that woman's face. Oh well, next year I shall enter the Eurovision competition on behalf of England and receive over 6000 points with my newly penned soft-rock ballad "I Thought I Told You I Was Going Dogging Tonight". My singing voice is a cross between Stevie Nicks, Cilla Black and Janette Krankie. x

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  3. That's quite a middle finger....

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