"Isn't it time you bought a new hat?" whispered 1950s drag-queen-cum-benefit-fraudster Penelope Hardpotts (pictured above) into my ear, all too loudly, as I was enjoying a Friday night-out in Soho. Some time later, I staggered round the back of Madame Jojo's for a quick tinkle behind a skip, whilst waiting for Juan to pick me up in the Rolls, a virtually impossible feat in 9-inch heels.
As I was about to leave something caught my eye, lying abandoned in the skip. It looked like an old filthy cushion but was in fact.... a hat. What a coincidence. I whipped it out and stuffed it in my handbag. Upon arriving back home, I ordered my maid to put the hat into the washing machine. Tonight, I'm going out to a high society social event at a place in London called The Ritz and I want to look my best. Rather than spend a small fortune at a London milliners, I'm rather pleased with my find from last night. Here I am wearing my new hat. If this is the quality of hat anyone can find abandoned in a skip in a back-alley in Soho, then the drag queens that frequent the district have more money than sense!