Thursday, 25 December 2014

Sexy Santa

I was out on the rooftops on Christmas Eve to fit a gigantic condom over my chimney to prevent a repetition of last year's drunken Yuletide shenanigans when a local farmer, aged 93, and dressed as Father Christmas, tried to cum down my chimney, uninvited.  He'd eaten so many mince pies he got stuck half way down and had to be sucked out by an industrial drain-unblocker.  Out he popped like a cork.

This year, I erected a sign on the rooftop stating my "Christmas visitation requirements": all Santa Clauses must be no older than 26 years of age and have a Body Mass Index of under 25.



At the stroke of midnight, there was a ferocious knock at the door and this Santa arrived, all glistening, oiled muscle.  Latvian, I think.  Doesn't speak a word of English, but I'm not complaining this time.

Happy Christmas to all readers of my blog, near and far.  Or as they say on the other side of the Pond: Happy Holidays.  May this Christmas be the best Christmas ever for you and your loved ones.

Have a listen to this great song, which is one of my Christmas favourites.   Good ole Bob.. he can still produce great songs!


4 comments:

  1. If fat old Santa came slithering down my chute I would have lit a fire and stoked it good and proper! I wonder why they say 'Happy Holidays' is the word 'Christmas' offensive over there? *Hitches up skirts and has a little jig to Bob Dylan* Happy Christmas!

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    1. Did Carmen get stuffed over Christmas?

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  2. Happy festive days, dear Fanny Love ! Good luck with Basil.

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    1. Happy festive days to you too, darling 63mago! X

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