Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Christmas tantrums from Belladonna

In a moment of sheer vodka-induced boredom, Fanny created this lovely, Belladonna-themed snow-globe.  A little plasticine model of Belladonna, horrifyingly realistic, was placed inside the globe, itself a forgotten Christmas present from 1981.  I've emailed Toys R Us to see if they're interested in the design.  

Meanwhile, Belladonna has been whining like a spoilt brat today, demanding her Christmas gifts.  I found her standing on top of my Louis Quatorze piano, stamping her feet on the lid in a little rage.   As my least favourite member of staff, I've tried countless times to terminate her from my household, with little success.   Knowing that I'd be shackled with her over the Christmas period, I spent Christmas Eve wrapping up a few 'special', unforgettable gifts for her, especially hand-picked, to show her just who is boss.

My first gift to my lovely, very beautiful maid was a set of Sea Urchin Earrings.  She looked a little miffed when she tore open the Christmas wrapping paper like a rabid dog.  She just sat there, expressionless. Ungrateful wench!

The second present I thrust into her grubby little hands was this.

That's right.  It's an electric eel.  A thoughtful and heartfelt gift to a much-loved maid.  I even wrapped it in a sheet of tinfoil.  She's in a sulk now.  I can't think why!


  1. Take away her Yorkshire pudding.

    That'll teach her.

    1. Greetings Miss MJ,

      I have tried to take away her Yorkshire Pudding but she is just skulking around the house now, like a ferret.

      I do like the idea you sent me about installing an oubliette (or dungeon) in my house...

  2. Sea urchin earrings and an electric eel you really know how to spoil a maid. But if you want to get rid of her, why not carve an old fashioned penny whistle out of the hollow stem of the hemlock plant and present it to Bella as a belated Christmas present, encourage her to knock out a rousing chorus of this bye bye Bella bye bye. Beats hacking her to death with a pick axe. That'll teach the ungrateful bitch.