Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Round the bend with Belladonna Bitchhole

As you can see, my maid, Belladonna Bitchhole, has gone completely mad this New Year's Eve.   She stands on the grand staircase, dressed as a blancmange.  Yes, that's right, dear Reader, it's not a typo or a drunken rant on my part.  She was literally wearing a wobbling dress made from extra-strength pink blancmange, itself a sort of trifle or after-dinner pudding appreciated in French circles.  She'd also dyed her hair green.  I love the way her pudgy little arms poke out the sides, like ham bones.  

Really, that varmint would try the patience of an oyster.  I must get rid of her.


  1. Belladonna looks good enough to eat, she wouldn't look out of place working behind a pie shop in Sheffield in that outfit, but she needs some visible homemade tattoos to really fit in there. I've just asked Carmen if she would like to meet up with Belladonna and perhaps indulge in some lesbian activity, she said she would rather cut off one of her tits, with a blunt knife, scoop out the ample flesh and wear it on her head as a swimming cap. She's been at the gin tonight and is maudlin.

    I'll chastise her in the morning.

    Have a wonderful New Year Fanny!

    1. Oh, but it is unrequited love! Belladonna has been wanking furiously over pictures of Carmen, and yet Carmen thinks Belladonna is about as attractive as Russell Harty. Unrequited lesbian love is so sad, so heart-wrenching. But I fear you are correct in all that you say about Belladonna's appropriateness to be working behind a pie n mash shop in some hellhole like Sheffield.

      Have a wonderful New Year too, Mitzi darling!