A lovely day for a drive

Here I am, enjoying the mid-February sunshine. It's lovely to take a tour of the countryside, isn't it?  We stopped at a lovely picnic site and went looking for badgers... (a little bit like this)

 

Do you Squirt?

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The curse of the traffic warden

Traffic wardens - like a plague of locusts - are one of this nation's most vilified sub-species.   They're generally monosyllabic or completely mute, walk with a shuffle, spit in three directions and have all the charm of a face-to-face encounter with Gollum.  As if by chance, it was just four weeks ago, whilst I was out dogging in the little but very popular layby that runs at the back of the A34 just north of Oxford, that one of their kind slapped a yellow-and-black ticket on my Daimler.   Who would have known that 30 minutes of fun in the bushes and over the picnic tables could have cost me a £40 Fixed Penalty Charge?

Since that time, I have issued my chauffeur with written instructions (they are sellotaped to the steering wheel) to show them no mercy and run them over, as a matter of cause (Juan loves a game of ten-pin bowling).   And my tactic for evading the clutches of the traffic warden whilst out dogging?   I invented this little game to keep their tiny little brains occupied....

Season of mists and mellow fruitiness

I absolutely adore this time of year: the spectacle of falling, golden leaves; icicles forming pretty patterns; the bleak cry of the raven;  the promise of darkness at 4pm and with it, the chance to partake in the curious English past-times of dogging, cruising and cottaging before going home to tea. 

It is titillating to throw off my mink coat and, without a care in the world, to skip through the deep carpets of autumn leaves wearing only Italian black silk lingerie, stay-up sheer nylon stockings and 12-inch black sluts' heels.   I stop to pick wild berries and collect mushrooms in a basket. 





Imagine my horror when I arrived at my favourite layby/woodland only to find this sign had been put up by the local constabulary.

What kill-joys!  How dare they spoil our fun.

 I rushed home and immediately pressed a few buttons on that Photoshop thing-a-majiggy and produced this wonderful poster.

Keep Calm and Cruise For Sex! by Fanny Love

Fanny vehemently supports with all her heart the practice of cruising, dogging and cottaging. Share the love!  Feel free to print off this poster and place it in a prominent position at your favourite local public toilet / park / woodland / layby. 

Meanwhile, sit back with your warm cup of cocoa and enjoy these photos of others out cruising, cottaging and dogging:

Dogging, cruising and cottaging:
a delightful, wholesome British past-time, celebrated and practiced by generations of Britons.