Down in the kitchens, I was just about to stuff a turkey with a Terry's Chocolate Orange when the news came on the television. Normally I don't watch TV whilst cooking, but it does make a nice background noise. I froze in horror at the images being shown on screen ... all on live television, screened to millions across the nation! (*Turn your volume up*)
Just watch this news report:
Who'd have thought it? Belladonna, the fire-starter!
I am outraged that the BBC News mistakenly put a photograph of an elderly woman wearing a Burqa to represent me. My publicist would have sent them one of my glamour-modelling shots, but no they put up a picture of someone who is not even me. No doubt done on purpose! They shall be hearing from my lawyer!
Belladonna Bitchhole has brought my household into unforgivable and serious disrepute. I really must get rid of her now. Apparently, she's been released on police bail. I shall have to booby-trap the drive so she can't even get near the house...
Just watch this news report:
Who'd have thought it? Belladonna, the fire-starter!
I am outraged that the BBC News mistakenly put a photograph of an elderly woman wearing a Burqa to represent me. My publicist would have sent them one of my glamour-modelling shots, but no they put up a picture of someone who is not even me. No doubt done on purpose! They shall be hearing from my lawyer!
Belladonna Bitchhole has brought my household into unforgivable and serious disrepute. I really must get rid of her now. Apparently, she's been released on police bail. I shall have to booby-trap the drive so she can't even get near the house...
