Sunday, 9 December 2012

Worried about the bees


You probably weren't aware that I'm an avid bee-keeper.  Since the summer, I've kept several hives on my Estate.  I so love the beeswax, honey and Royal Jelly that can be harvested, and I find the constant, gentle drone coming from the hives a calming influence.

Bee-keeping, of course, is an art and I recently had this bespoke hive made.  What do you think of it?





I've managed to produce a dozen jars of honey over the summer months; it's a bit of a messy job though.   As I don't like to get stung, I usually insert the vacuum cleaner pipe into the hive through a hole, switch on the machine and suck all the bees safely into the vacuum cleaner bag, before giving their hive a good clean and extracting the honey.   When I'm finished, I switch the vacuum cleaner on reverse mode, and the bees are shot at high speed back into their freshly-spruced hive.

 A vaccum cleaner Hoover bag fat with bees

 
I've been a bit worried about the bees during this cold weather.  I took this old gramophone out and placed it next to their hive, and played them some Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. 

 
In the end, I was just too worried about them, so I've placed their hive in the airing cupboard, on the second floor of the house, where they'll be nice and warm.

That reminds me: a few years ago, a French design-house sent me this bee-inspired cotton dress.  I might wear it soon.



7 comments:

  1. My ex husband David VI used to keep bees. He had 5 hives which contained over 30,000 bees. It would be ridiculous to give each one a name, but he did, I can't remember all of their names but I do know he called the Queen bee Fanny!

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    1. I'm truly honoured, Mitzi, that your former husband called his Queen Bee after me. I think from your wonderful blog that you're more suited to the honourable title 'Queen Bee' than I. I'm more of a worker bee, or minor two-bit player, in comparison. Thanks again for the wonderful laughs we're having here reading your great blog. Hope you're having lots of festive fun. Fanny xx

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  2. Oh so that explains why your face is always swollen Fanny; stung by bees. And there I was thinking you were just disfigured.

    LV

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    1. Now now, Lady Vagina, no need for bitchiness.

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  3. Have you considered playing "Flight of the Bumblebee?"

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    1. Thanks for calling by, Miss MJ. Yes, that's a very good suggestion, The Flight of the Bumblebee, written by the Russian composer, Nikolai Rip-my-Corset-off........Sorry, I mis-typed that.... written by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

      Never been able to get my tongue around Russian, silly me!, but such a riveting piece of music it is! Speaking of Russians, I once had a stormy affair with a handsome Russian oligarch, sadly the tabloids misquoted me as "having an affair with a Russian octogenarian".

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  4. Some models and actresses deliberately sting themselves repeatedly in the lips with a live wasp or a bee to puff up their lips, a bit like Botox, creating a sexy, pouty look. Do you practise this, Fanny?

    Ambrosia Strangelove x
    www.cruising4gaysex.blogspot.com

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