Keep calm and carry on Trannying

How wonderful to see Austrian transvestite and Eurovision-winner, Conchita Wurst appear at the United Nations and boldly declare that sexuality doesn't matter and that we can all be happy, whether we're gay, transgendered or straight.   Both Juan and I adore Conchita --- she's a transgendered style icon and we love that she is paving the way to stamp out homophobia and transphobia, so we may all live in a more tolerant, happier world.

I have created some nice Keep Calm posters as a special salute to Conchita.  What do you think of my designs?

 

Feel free to download and print out any of these designs and stick them prominently on the noticeboard of your local Womens' Institute Hall, Jehovah's Witness headquarters, or Working Men's Club.

Halloween heatwave

So yesterday was the hottest Halloween in England since records began.  The mercury soared to 21.5c in some parts and the nation stripped down to bikinis and budgie-smugglers and headed for the nearest green space to soak up the balmy sun.  We were reminded by such high-class periodicals - like The Sun and the Daily Mail - that Britain was officially hotter than Athens, Istanbul and Rome.

Well, here's a stark warning against sunbathing in open spaces.   A resident of the nearby village of Brill learnt the lesson the hard way...

I spat coffee out of my nose

My morning coffee was going down a treat until my newly- appointed scullery-maid, Basil, accidentally on purpose left the packet of coffee on the table.  

The coffee cup was thrown against the wall and shattered into a thousand pieces.  A coffee called Minges?   "Since when have we been buying a coffee called Minges?" I bawled, "It's not right!  I'm not lesbian".
 
If you want some Minge in your cup, you can order it here.  Disgusting!  Be informed that the highly-authoritative Oxford English Dictionary defines Minge as a slang term for female genitalia, commonly used in the UK and Ireland.  It also states, a minge is:

1. "A particularly vulgar term for the haven that is sometimes shaven."; and 

2."All men come out of a minge on the first day of their Life and then they (nearly all) spend the rest of their lives trying to get back into one."