Pffft... so much for 'hired help'. The maid has gone AWOL, the servants-quarters are deserted and there's no-one to fetch the papers, toast my crumpets, fill my bath, or warm my slippers. My respectability in social circles is crumbling! If a maid is worth her salt, then she's loyal, caring and dependable.
As you can see from the picture, I even had to reload the dishwasher myself. What is the world coming to?
As you can see from the picture, I even had to reload the dishwasher myself. What is the world coming to?
The light purple one in the foreground is that for people with a penchant for necrophilia?
ReplyDeleteI had a few hiccups with my maid of all work Carmen in the beginning, her first call of duty was to bring in the breakfast tray, she asked if the tea was the right shade of dog muck, well, as you can imagine alarm bells started ringing, 'was she a halfwit?' I asked myself, then I looked at the tea, it was served in a floral cup and saucer and not in my usual mug, the one with a picture of a springer spaniel's head on it that I call my dog mug, just a misunderstanding. I then asked her to draw my bath, half an hour had passed and she still hadn't returned to the room to position my slippers for rising, so I got up to see where she had disappeared to, I found her perched on the toilet with a sketch book actually drawing the bath. Yes, I thought to myself she is a complete and utter halfwit.
Yes, that's correct re the purple dildo. We use it on elderly visitors.
DeleteI am shocked by Carmen's insubordination. She sounds as thick as three short planks. Have you considered electroconvulsive therapy for her? The act of serving morning tea to you in a mug with a springer spaniel on it... that's an act of unprecedented wickedness! She should be flogged at dawn with a cat o'nine tails!
Well darlings, at least you two can find things to load the dishwasher with. With all houseboys here at the casa, these "things" tend to have went missing. Just a hint Fanny, to make there those are washed on the heavy duty, pots and pans cycle. Tootles!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had as many houseboys as you, Mistress Maddie.
DeleteWe're now using extra-strong bleach to banish the stains on the dildos... and yes, the "heavy duty" setting is needed. When dishwasher is not working, we throw all the stuff in the washing machine and I sit on top during the spin cycle, enjoying the ride.
Darling Fanny,
ReplyDeleteWell, we hesitate to say it.......but we did warn you. Brazilians and work do not a good match make.
One of our elderly parents used to remind us that 'one has not been able to get reliable help since the war' and you, darling Fanny, are now also a victim of this.
Can we suggest, darling Fanny, that now is the time to move into a hotel? We know the people who own the Ritz and could put a good word in if that would help.
Darling Jane and Lance,
DeleteYes, you did warn me and I am glutton for punishment.
I am going to the Ritz for afternoon tea and scones, so I will report back!
I think you may well have to reload that bottom drawer, or do it all by hand for the time being.
ReplyDeleteSx
Oh I love a gentleman's hand in my bottom drawer.
DeleteWhoops... I didn't have my glasses on when I first read your comment and think I may have taken it the wrong way. Yes, I will reload the dishwasher.
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