I am so delighted to see that you are wearing sensible shoes for dog walking. These days, taking the pooch for a stroll can be so dangerous......rabid animals off the lead........psychotic dog handlers.......that one can never be too careful or too armed for what might take place. Well, if the heels do not inflict sufficiently serious damage on the attacker, then surely the spikes heels will.
Just one thing.......is the colour quite right to match the dog lead?
Oh, psychotic dog handlers and rabid pit-bulls.... so you have visited Milton Keynes? My dearest Jane and Lance, I am utterly astonished that a couple as wonderful and as culturally-rich as you could have befallen the misfortune of having visited such a hellhole.
I usually choose the right coloured shoes to match the dog lead by using those Dulux paint colour samples they give away free - I adore mixing up colours and sometimes wear Whore's Red killer heels with a matching Slug-Green dog lead.
I for one wouldn't like a kick to the shin from one of them, but I do know some men who would pay you good money just for that privilege. I often see dog walkers about wearing green wax jackets and carrying little bags of shit around with them, they like you to think it's the dog's but I'm not so sure.
Yes, it is an oddity. One woman from my village confided in me that she carries her little Chihuahua's copious amounts of poo around with her in a plastic bag, and doesn't like to discard it in the poop bin, because it keeps her hands warm in winter. She's clearly never heard of gloves.
You should buy a dog, they're rather a lot of fun and completely exclude themselves from social etiquette. That's to say, they get away with the most dastardly of deeds: last summer, Mr P, my poodle, jumped into a muddy ditch whilst chasing a pheasant and came out covered from head to foot in thick stinking mud, and was encouraged to jump into the lap of my Great Aunt Regina who was sitting, pontificating, on her throne in the West Wing, wearing a lovely, antique all-white ballgown.
Needless to say, Great Aunt Regina was apoplectic with rage when the muddy dog landed in her lap. She left via the window.
Darling Fanny,
ReplyDeleteI am so delighted to see that you are wearing sensible shoes for dog walking. These days, taking the pooch for a stroll can be so dangerous......rabid animals off the lead........psychotic dog handlers.......that one can never be too careful or too armed for what might take place. Well, if the heels do not inflict sufficiently serious damage on the attacker, then surely the spikes heels will.
Just one thing.......is the colour quite right to match the dog lead?
Oh, psychotic dog handlers and rabid pit-bulls.... so you have visited Milton Keynes? My dearest Jane and Lance, I am utterly astonished that a couple as wonderful and as culturally-rich as you could have befallen the misfortune of having visited such a hellhole.
DeleteI usually choose the right coloured shoes to match the dog lead by using those Dulux paint colour samples they give away free - I adore mixing up colours and sometimes wear Whore's Red killer heels with a matching Slug-Green dog lead.
I for one wouldn't like a kick to the shin from one of them, but I do know some men who would pay you good money just for that privilege. I often see dog walkers about wearing green wax jackets and carrying little bags of shit around with them, they like you to think it's the dog's but I'm not so sure.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is an oddity. One woman from my village confided in me that she carries her little Chihuahua's copious amounts of poo around with her in a plastic bag, and doesn't like to discard it in the poop bin, because it keeps her hands warm in winter. She's clearly never heard of gloves.
DeleteHoneybunny - at the moment I just would like to USE them !
ReplyDeleteThank you for the picture.
You'd be welcome to use them for whatever you wished, with no questions asked!
Deletex
Scary, but that's the way I like it. You almost make me want to buy a dog.
ReplyDeleteHi Blue,
DeleteYou should buy a dog, they're rather a lot of fun and completely exclude themselves from social etiquette. That's to say, they get away with the most dastardly of deeds: last summer, Mr P, my poodle, jumped into a muddy ditch whilst chasing a pheasant and came out covered from head to foot in thick stinking mud, and was encouraged to jump into the lap of my Great Aunt Regina who was sitting, pontificating, on her throne in the West Wing, wearing a lovely, antique all-white ballgown.
Needless to say, Great Aunt Regina was apoplectic with rage when the muddy dog landed in her lap. She left via the window.
Fanny x