Sexy Santa

I was out on the rooftops on Christmas Eve to fit a gigantic condom over my chimney to prevent a repetition of last year's drunken Yuletide shenanigans when a local farmer, aged 93, and dressed as Father Christmas, tried to cum down my chimney, uninvited.  He'd eaten so many mince pies he got stuck half way down and had to be sucked out by an industrial drain-unblocker.  Out he popped like a cork.

This year, I erected a sign on the rooftop stating my "Christmas visitation requirements": all Santa Clauses must be no older than 26 years of age and have a Body Mass Index of under 25.

At the stroke of midnight, there was a ferocious knock at the door and this Santa arrived, all glistening, oiled muscle.  Latvian, I think.  Doesn't speak a word of English, but I'm not complaining this time.

Happy Christmas to all readers of my blog, near and far.  Or as they say on the other side of the Pond: Happy Holidays.  May this Christmas be the best Christmas ever for you and your loved ones.

Have a listen to this great song, which is one of my Christmas favourites.   Good ole Bob.. he can still produce great songs!